Stymied

Ugh!

This is ridiculous.

I’ve been doing some little programming, reading, and family events, nothing truly demanding all my time. Yet, in all that I’m really struggling to move forward on my #WIP.  I’ve reached a point where technically I could release this latest short story in the Pa’adhe series but it just feels incomplete, like there’s one more event I’m supposed to record.  At almost 6,000 words, it’s clearly getting towards the end, but I just can’t see the ending clearly.  It’s odd, as I know what needs to happen but I just can’t see how to get from here to there and the characters are uncharacteristically quiet.

I do keep thinking about the story from time to time:  During my commute, during the day, at work, at home, outside…at all times of the day and night I spend some time thinking about what I need and want to do to close out this episode.  Invariably, my mind drifts to other nuances of the story or of other stories nascent in the fog.  So, it’s not lack of attention.

Hey!  Could it be…maybe I have that infamous Writer’s Block?  Does that make me a real writer?

Anyway…whatever.

Lately I’ve been thinking that perhaps it has to do with not sitting down, opening up #WIP in FocusWriter, doing a quick read-through to re-orient myself, and then free writing. Whenever I do in fact have anything like writer’s block, that’s invariably gotten me through and past it.  It stands to reason I should then be able to finish out this short story in one sitting and be able to start massaging it into shape for my Alphas and Betas.

Yet, the inclination to actually do that isn’t really there.  I know I’ve not finished this series of short stories set around Pa’adhe but at the same time I’m struggling with this particular one for some reason.  Every time I go back and re-read this story, I don’t see anything wrong with it, yet I’m beginning to wonder if perhaps the correct thing to do would be to set this one aside and move on to another.  The problem is, every time I seriously think about that I have a great reluctance to set this short story aside and work something else.

That’s really odd, for me.  Usually I have no problems hopping back and forth between writing, between short stories, between stories and poetry, whatever.  So, why is it I’m both unable to finish this one or to set it aside until I can properly come back to it?

Why does this short story, this #WIP, seem to have become my albatross?

I wonder.  It just popped into mind that given the way the characters, in particular the Captain, has taken the story off in ways I hadn’t imagined or planned, could it be that the death of this particular character is what I’m balking at?  Maybe I need to be careful about his death and at least leave it with the “if there’s no body, how do you know he’s really and truly dead” option?

I see no reason for that, yet the way I write and the way I develop my stories maybe that’s what my sub-consciousness has been trying to tell me.  Maybe that’s what has been keeping me from finishing up this story, I had to realize that I can’t kill him off completely and absolutely no matter how much I’d like to.  Maybe now that I’ve dredged that up I can sit down and write finis to this particular story.

That’s not going to happen tonight, there’s too much going on, but now that I’ve glimpsed that possibility, I’m already hashing out some dim scenarios as I write this.  I think I now see what needs to happen.

Postscript:

This is one reason I enjoy having my own blog.  I write when I have something worthwhile to say or to share, according to my definition of worthwhile, and I have no pressure to write here under any kind of deadline.  Yet, not only does this blog serve as a sharing tool, it also provides me with a means to allow you a glimpse into the processes and travails encountered as I write.  In return, writing posts like this one allows me to subconsciously work things through, to let my mind seize upon nebulous links or subconscious ideas and thus bring them to the light.

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